Showing posts from 2009

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Wish My Papa Is Rich

How nice if my Papa is Rich today!  I would be driving this flashy car to have my breakfast weekly.
Perhaps I would even own 2 similar beauty in my garage! 

Now cut the crap, I have been eating at Papa Rich @ 3rd Mile ~ Jalan Klang Lama almost weekly since its door was opened. I have brought no less than 20 friends consisting many bloggers, bimbos, sluts, Koreans, Japanese and etc.

Everyone knew that I am hell'a fire mouthed and grumbled so much at the manager for all the shortcomings, wrong orders, snail service and screwed up servings! I am not kidding and many bloggers were my witnesses armed with cameras! So scary to serve me, yeah!
Well, I had every intention to patronize this Papa Rich for a long time as it's conveniently located within my enclave. I like its ambience and good ventilation, never mind the shortcomings! I was always busy chatting and gossiping all the latest gory tales laaa.
I had given a tough time to its manager James but this fella was always smiling so hard …

Let's Do It Together!

A while ago, I received some spam mails which showed very gory photos that hit my spine instantly. My head was numbed and sent my chilly thoughts racing again over an old issue.
Some years ago, Michi signed up to make a pledge and proudly showed me her card!  OMG I was shocked in disbelief and squirmed like Yuen's shrimp.
She wants to donate all her organs to the hospital to benefit the needy or medical studies!~ EEEeeekk !! ~
Grandma's heart sank, selfishly.
When I received this gory email, my heart fluttered again and I made some research. I read the Buddhist sutra books that says ~ If one pledges to donate his organs, upon death, the heavens would ascend to receive his soul before any doctor could knife his corpse!
I think many death row prisoners who pledged themselves, had secured places in the Land Of Eternity.
Who doesn't want to live above in the heavens? Maybe KEENYEE prefers his current abode. The old man or rather the soothsayer oldie must have failed to convince him!


My Retirement Plans

Have you ever thought about your retirement plans when you reach 55 or 60 years old? I think I will open a junk shop and sell off all my old Grandma stuffs. It was an accidental hobby that I inherited so much plates, bowls, vases, fabrics, paintings, brick brats and unwanted stuffs since I was a tot. I even had to turn away my Grandpa's Ford Model-T vintage car coz I was only 11 years old then!
Naturally, I grew up to appreciate arts and antiques along the way, picking up some during my travels. I never bothered to evaluate them or thought what I could do with my stuffs until I became a member of the antique collectors' society in Europe.
Every morning, without fail, I would log into the local STAR online newspaper and thereafter to the antique auctioneer's website. Recently, I had the biggest shock with numbed jaws to see this pair of wooden ducks for sale!
OMG! It was so shocking that I have to pinjam their duckling photos to share with you guys!

Yes, a whopping US$ 2 MILLIO…

50% @ 5:00PM

I often meet my clients at their developer's office inside a hotel which is located in KL's worst traffic hub! Somehow, my 1 client is a chain smoker, so have to smoke outside his office which is at the coffee house below.
Naturally, I would be entertained to cakes and coffees, always making my belt tighter.
I swear that their Blueberry Cheese cake is better than Hilton's or Secret Recipe's ~ not too sweet and just nice!
If I have meetings after 5:00pm, all the cakes would be sold at 
50% OFF!
They have little choices but they are freshly baked each morning. By 5:00pm, they will lelong at half price without putting any signboard or notice.
You just need to go there and open your big mouth to confirm that it's 50% off after 5:00pm daily.
You save a lot by buying them to celebrate any occasion with your loved ones!

Please do not ask me where, just look closer at the cakes and you will see the hotel's name there!
Happy Eating!

Making Merits Before 2012

So many fellas have blogged about 2012! Some got worried and some like Foong Pak Choi looks forward to experience the last day of the world. I was tickled by many such retarded comments! 
Everyday, since my intestine got ruptured and me being wheeled into SJMC's operating theatre for operasi cantum usus balik, my life had changed the minute I woke up. The intense pain had been a grim reminder for life and I blamed it on my bad karma. I was being accused for slitting open a live animal and tore out its intestine! OMFG how barbaric Grandma could be!!!
Remember this! Everyday we human beings are trading with each other using our merits and karma. So my @#$% boss must have got more merits, that's why I have to slave at work and get clobbered verbally. Wait till my merits grow and I will abuse him back! Maybe in my past life, I had abused him terribly till he had to haunt me back this life! Oh dear, I better do my work well.
I had one Leng Chai friend whose parents own the Jalan Imbi&#…

Pigs Can Fly

It was a beautiful Sunday morning and I was driving into Federal Highway! Kaneeneh! I had a blardy shock with my jaws dropped open. 
Guess what?

The traffic was so fucking JAMMED on both sides. Grandma was scratching his sarong contents and cursing as the cars could not move at all. It was a strange thing to happen on a Sunday wor.

So Grandma just drove 0.05kph and the snail beside could move faster than me. I was still wondering whether there was a drastic accident or the flyover collapsed!
Then suddenly hor, I saw something in the sky! UFO?
Strain your blardy eyes! Look closer! What izzit har?

I saw several parachutes coming down!! Whooaaa! A plane must have crashed and all the penumpangs jumped out for their lives!
So I took out my cheapo mobile from in-between my sarong!
One by one, they came down and below almost kissing the roofs of the cars! No wonder lah, all so kay-po-chee watched and screamed!!!!

The gals screamed cos the guy must be a dig dicked Matt Salleh lor.

I was amazed that they …

Secret Gardens

The romantic idea and brilliant concept of 'secret gardens' had existed since ancient times during the last days of Pompeii or the period when Chinese emperors flirted endlessly with their concubines in wine-bathing pools. They all loved their private enclave called 'secret gardens'.
Grandma had to work on a blardy @#$% Saturday morning to conduct some routine checks. So I curi-shot some photos of this modern day secret gardens! The hi-end developers today are cleverly making extra BUCK$ by building beautifully paved and landscaped enclaves right behind those million dollar homes they are selling. You will have your own garden within your property but the whole back lane would be the 'secret gardens' shared by your wealthy and nosey CB neighbours!

The tiled entrance to the privately guarded secret gardens which is cleverly not wasted becoming a backlane for stray cats or pimps to trade flesh.

It is nice and long, suitable for Anton to hold mama's hand for long…